Disclaimer: the below is a my opinion and/or a parody of my opinion. I am not affiliated in any way with these companies, although I might have a Sears and Layne Bryant Card–I think they give those out to anybody, though..
I’ve been in somewhat of a frenzy getting ready for this weekend. Women of Color Weekend in P-Town! Two whole nights away from my kids and holed up in my Soft Studs rented love nest:-)
But this trip definitely required updating my wardrobe.I want to look nice. I know that there will be some fine, well-dressed women there, and my Boo will be dapper in her low-key jockish way, and I want her to be proud to have me on her arm
Plus with all of the weight I lost my old raggedy bathing suit would hang like a bag! So that called for a stolen few hours at the mall.
Since I’ve thinned down to the 14 side of 14-16, shopping has become soooooooooooooooooooo much easier! I started out with Layne Bryant out of habit.
Plus those Layne Briant models looked fucking hot in this bathing suit, and I wanted to try it on:
Unfortunately, that bathing suit looked like crap on me! Really. It looked really, really bad! I will not burn your retinas with that view.
I fond a blue bathing suit top that looked petty good, along with a really good shaper-bottom.
Then I went to Sears, and went a little crazy. The last time I went to Sears and headed for the Fat Ghetto, that tiny little corner where women size 16 and up can choose between like 12 whole outfits that are all horribly unflattering and garish colors. I was grumbling as usual about the selection, when I noticed an Xtra Large tank top that looked like it would fit.
I tried it on, and, low-and-behold, it did! Big Mama 2x is now an extra large!
I ran out of the changing room for an orgy of choices–I was like Oprah giving out cars–I can try on this, and this, and this! All those cute clothes that had been denied to me for so man years were now there, on discount, double discount and triple discount! I loaded up me arms!
Of course, I couldn’t go crazy with the actual purchases, but I definitely found some good work clothes on that shopping trip!
On this trip, I located a really cute black bathing suit lop from Lands End:
It Looks Better in a D Cup
The skirt looked terrible (it really doesn’t even look good on this model–it makes her torso look even longer then is is and obscures her waist– but the Layne Briant bottoms made it work! Still, I couldn’t stop there! There’s a pool party, so I needed a cover-up, plus a nice Maxi day-dress for the Wine Tasting and maybe going out to dinner.
I wanted to get a little black dress, but, sadly, ran out of time…