Missed Sounds

I was all excited to catch the Sounds of Pride Tour hosted by Pookz and DZ from Studology101 along with JayneDoe, Bostons own M3rcedes Diaz and more! Unfortunately, by the time I got free of my kids, got stood up by my Internet “date” and drove all the way out to frigging Randolph–not only had they already performed–they were gone!

Now who the hell’s bright idea was it for them to fly all the way out to the Bean to perform at 8:30 at an under-promoted (through Boston Lesbian channels) show way the hell out in Randalph? And why was the how so short with so many artists?

I can’t blame them for leaving before 11. I hope they come again and perform for a more Urban crowd–like, actually in Boston. And at a more reasonable time. Who the hell hits the club at 8:30?

Sounds of Pride came to Boston and all I got were some fucking hot flyers!

(Thanks for the fucking hot flyers, btw!)

I Am Not Clear!

Invisible man stands against the sky getsturing dramatically (hat and coat visible)

Actual words that came out of my radio this morning:

“A lot of my closest friends in college were actually clear.”

Really? Are you serious? Don’t make me reach into that radio and smack you! (I know how–after all, some of my “closest friends” are “urban!”)

(For those of you still wondering what the hell I’m talking about:  instead of using the words white and black to describe people, he was saying “Urban” and “Clear.”)
The first time I encountered the terms “Urban” and “Clear” used in such a “creative” fashion, was listening to Notorious VOG & his crew in the morning on Hot 97 Boston. I started listening to the station because they often have the best Hip Hop, R & B and Dancehall on the dial. Unfortunately if you wanna hear that during your morning commute you have to put up with some assholes talking shit. (Why do these radio stations think we want to hear talk in the morning? The only thing I wanna hear in the morning is some bumpin music to help me channel my road-rage!)

At first I liked Notorious, he had some good things to say about taking responsibility for your children and not being a deadbeat dad. Since I’ve got two no-show baby-daddies that was a message I was ready to hear.

But then one day he started going off on how he’d rather go to a movie with “clear” folk, because “urban folk just didn’t know how to act”.

“Clear?” “Urban?” Really?

Now on the face of it, this actually makes a lot of sense–who wouldn’t rather go to a movie with clear folk–after all, if a tall “clear” person sits down in front of you–no problem–you can see right through them!

But–naw–I don’t think that’s what he meant…

Over time I saw that this usage of the coded language of “urban” and “clear” is a hallmark of this show. Each time Nororious or Lady V drops the word “clear” there’s that slightly naughty tone to their voice. Exactly like a white person chortling over his new code for the N-Word.

Now I find the term “Urban,” used to refer to African Americans (as it invariably is on this show) problematic: what, are you saying everyone in urban areas are black? Or that all black people live in the city? Doesn’t that erase all the other POC in the community? (The white people in the city being already invisible).

But whatever, that’s y’all. If y’all want to call yourself, “Urban” who am I to tell you you can’t?

On the other hand, I have to call you out for calling me “Clear.” I don’t care how many “clear” friends you have, or how better you think we behave in the movies–when you use that word you sound blatantly racist.

Some people think that because they have been the subject of racism, they cannot be racist. Just like some people think that because they have black (or “urban”) friends, they can’t be racist.


Anyone can be racist.

Now I’m not saying Notorious VOG and his crew are racist–but they sure sound racist.

I don’t have a problem with them talking about race on the radio–even saying ignorant things sometimes–but if you can’t talk about race without using code words, you need to re-think what you’re saying.

We do have words to discuss race. As imperfect and inadequate as the words black and white are, (after, all, how many people have you met in this country who are truly black? Most American “black” people fall somewhere on the spectrum of browns.) they are common parlance of this era, and you should be able to use them without offending people so long as the context isn’t offensive.

Now I’m not a big fan of the word white to describe my skin color or my people: what am I–a wall? A blank piece of paper? A sheet? (Thank you KKK for giving bedding negative connotations.)

I find it extremely frustrating that no word in the English language adequately describes the tan-peachy-pinkish color that I see when I look at my hands!

In the sense that my skin color was so ubiquitous in Europe during the formation of the language that they didn’t feel they needed a word for it, it does, in a way, make it clear–invisible, assumed unless stated otherwise by a white racist culture. But I still reject the term.

I am not invisible! You do not have the power to rob me of what verbal pigment I posses.

When I look in the mirror I see myself in color. I have substance. I am not invisible.

I am not clear.

10 Rules For White People Who Hang Out With Black People


If you are already a white person who hangs out with black people you probably already know these rules–and when and how to break them. If you’re just starting to hang out with black people, or are wondering about those strange looks your black friends, colleagues and associates sometimes give you–you might want to brush up on the “rules.”

  1. Never use the N-Word. I shouldn’t have to say this, but apparently I do. Don’t say it in public. Don’t say it in private, don’t say it in your head. Just don’t say it! I don’t care how many times Tupac or the Young Money crew drop it, pretend you’re a radio and censor it out. (I substitute playa sometimes in songs where ‘man’ or ‘asshole’ is really what they mean.) I don’t care how many times your black friends say it–you don’t use that word! When they say it they are empowering themselves by reclaiming a word that that has been used to cause suffering and degradation. When you say it you’re being a racist asshole. (And if your white friends say it, please try to educate them–if they don’t wanna listen, consider some different friends)
  2. Don’t say words like the N-Word. No it’s not okay if you say it with an “a”. Don’t say Snoop-like words like fo-shizzle. You think you’re sounding cool. They think that you’re finding a sneaky way to say the N-Word. On the same tip, my friend Digger watched his buddy get beat-up by a group of black guys after yelling out “Hey Digger” on the wrong street. (And yes he watched, that 98 lb white boy didn’t have a chance against all those dudes!)
  3. Don’t try to “act black” Unless you’re in a gang don’t throw gang signs or imitate the folks you see on TV.  Don’t have “gangsta” themed frat parties. Don’t try to dance like you see on the music videos–when you ain’t got no rhythm. Just find the beat. (Please? For me? Do you have any idea how hard it is to dance in a room full of no-rhythm white folks tryina’ throw down?)  Now I’m not saying all black folk can dance, ’cause that’s a myth just like the one about all black men having big dicks–just more of them can. You can too, just relax into the beat and find your own moves.
  4. Don’t try to “talk black” I’d say more on this one, but I probably break the “talking black” rule more than any others–you can only talk extensively with black people for so long before you start to pick up black English. I often have POC (People of Color) stare at me perplexedly and ask if I’m from the south–Actually, I guess that’s okay if it happens naturally, it’s the “try” part that’ll mess you up.
  5. Don’t try to “dress black.” For god’s sake pull your pants up! (Okay, that goes for everyone of every color. Please–I do not need to see your drawers unless we’re getting freaky!) As far as clothing goes, Hip Hop is so universal these days that you can definitely work that flavor into your gear, just don’t go over the top with it. Also, hair: please, no white girl dredds or cornrows! (Unless you’re a hippy, in which case, go ahead and do dredlocks–just be aware that if you go to Jamaica you might get your ass kicked!)
  6. Do not call black people “articulate” No matter how loquacious and eloquent the speaker is, don’t pay them this particular “complement.” You think you’re saying: “Wow, have an amazing way with words”, or, “Obama, you make George Bush look like a gibbering idiot.” They hear: “You talk perty good for a darky.” And really, they might be on to something. Do you ever pay this particular complement to white people? If you feel in awe of a POC’s way with words, try saying something like “I really liked the way you said XYZ–I never would have thought to put it that way.” That shows not only an appreciation for the speaker’s turn of phrase, but engages with the topic they were discussing.
  7. Don’t ask your black friends to use the back door. Not even if you ask everyone else including your Mama and Baby-mama  to do it! Black people have spent centuries having to go in through the back and they deserve red-carpet treatment now. (Um. I guess unless you’re getting freaky?)
  8. Don’t ask your black friend to dress up like a Gorilla Okay, really I can’t believe that I have to say this one, but a dear friend of mine  was pressured into donning a Gorilla suit for a play by friends, who were apparently unaware or uncaring of the history of white people making comparisons of black people to gorillas, apes and monkeys. Similarly, some black folk might not be too keen on monkey toys for their kids.
  9. Know Your History. Did you even pay attention in school? Read and learn as much as you can about the history of slavery and racism in this country. There’s a wealth of knowledge out there from PBS documentaries–to books on Harriet Tubman and Malcolm X, to fiction–like the works of Bebe Moore Campel and Alice Walker. (Not an exhaustive list at all–that’s just off the top of my head–but you have the internet, I’m sure you can find plenty to give you a better perspective on where African Americans are coming from–and maybe learn a little about yourself in the process.)
  10. Follow the Golden Rule. If you don’t follow any other rules in this list, follow this one. Do your best to treat all people with respect and consideration.

Any questions?

Things Nicki Minaj Raps About

Nicki Minaj giving the world the finger while lookin hot

Nicki Minaj giving the world the finger while lookin hot

In no particular order:

  • Being the baddest bitch
  • Her haterz
  • How she doesn’t like pork (I think she means dick)
  • What kind of men she likes–if she liked men
  • Eating rad bitches
  • Eating chicken

Boobie Hu$tle Where Are You?

I met this rapper BigWeazie aka Boobie Hu$tle (reppin’ Chicago) on Tagged, and she sent me a link to download her latest single: HEKKIE NAWWW

I loved how hard and raw her song was, so I went back on Tagged to ask her how I could get the rest of the album, but she had deleted her account! I searched the web, but I couldn’t find a web page for her, no facebook, myspace, nothing!!

Weazie hun, how you gonna promote your music and your new album with nothin’ but a YouTube Video? You need some help with your web presence?

Holla at me!

Alright y’all, here it is, the single HEKKIE NAWWW from the new album Access Denied (She’s not kidding lol)

They Want Me Back

So the guy I’ve been kinda-sorta seeing is actually a really talented musician in a local Hip Hop Group. I went to one of his shows on recently. The crowd was a little sparse, and a little stiff, but I guess the best you could hope for on a Monday night.

There were a few bands in the line-up, and while one was playing I hung out a little bit with my ‘friend’ but it was awkward. I wasn’t there as his girlfriend, and there were a lot of folks vying for his attention.

While I was dancing and searching the crowd for any attractive females whatsoever, I found my eyes drawn to a painfully straight thick woman who had more rhythm than most of the crowd put together. She was so out-of-place I asked my ‘friend’ who she was related to:

“She’s his cousin” Validating my instinct, he pointed to one of the three guys on stage. I looked at the guys, none of them looked like he was at all related to her.

“The black one” I peered at the guys, mentally sorting their European features for  African traits. Were any of them black? “Well he’s light-skinned” I decided he was talking about a light, mostly white featured guy.

After she hugged my ‘friend’, she introduced herself to me, and gave me a firm handshake which neither of us seemed to want to end…so I thought.

“Ow!” She said. “you have a firm handshake”
“But…” I said, easing up my grip. “I matched my handshake to yours”
“Well yeah,” she said, “I wanted to show I was strong.” Did I intimidate her?
“I can be as gentle as you want” I said, easing up and keeping her hand gently, not wanting to let go. I really need to stop flirting with straight women!

I left early at midnight–and was almost in bed when I realized I never paid my tab and they still had my card. So I headed back out.

I ended up hanging out with two of my ‘friend’s friends (one of whom is in his band). They both flirted with me, subtly insulted me (one implied I was a slut because I’m a single mom, the other that I’m rich because I’m white and live in a ‘good’ neighborhood) and then both asked to go home with me.

I was slightly tempted by the one in the band. He was kinda cute. But:

A) They’re in the same band–can you say awkward?

B) I don’t believe in sex on the first date, no one comes to my house, and the dude insulted me! What was he, trying to “white guilt” me into bed?

And C) I realized if I started something with either one of them they would expect me to interact with their dicks! And I really think I’m off dicks altogether. I tried, but the whole time I was touching my ‘friend’s penis all I felt was complete revulsion, and guilt for feeling that way. I think I just have to accept that while I may be attracted to some guys, may even like flirting with and kissing them, I just don’t like dick! (Fortunately my guy seems willing to just serve me like a stud…I guess we’ll see how long that lasts…)

So anyways, turned them both down. Went home and slept by myself.

I think I’ll dress butch next time I go out to a straight club…

I Feel I Dreamed of This


Between your legs I feel I dreamed of this

With no explanation necessary…

My goal is to touch your soul

Rise up on the inside, whispering like-

Don’t stop! That’s my spot.


So you want to get to know me?

Wanna hold me?

Make my clit feel holy?

Get naked and show me– God?

-Unfamiliar, by Skim Feat Jade Ross

So I promised y’all more Lesbian Hip Hop and now I’m getting back to it. (Check out my previous review of my ‘secret’ crush Feloni) I’d like to introduce you to Skim Skimma, a Korean American Stud from LA whose music has been rockin’ my playlist.

Highlights of her debut album For Every Tear include my absolute fav Unfamiliar, Featuring ‘sexy femme’ Jade Ross and She Said, both sexy, danceable tunes. Other songs on the album that touched me deeply include the loving and wistful What’s On Your Mind, and the dark and moody Holdin.’

Actually a lot of her album is dark and moody left-wing political shit punctuated by goddess inspired  spoken word poetry–which can be a little overwhelming taken all at once. I can’t fault her politics or religion–being a lefty Goddess worshiper myself,  but I can’t help wishing the album had more of the up-tempo songs. Still, mixed into my playlist, or played together on a rainy day, definitely enjoyable.

Anyway, check her out! A talented indie artist who doubtless only has more to share!