Bloody Uterus Revisited

I thought I would share my response to a comment on Over My Bloody Uterus Go ahead and click back to it to see what I’m responding to.

Bill, you don’t know anything about me or my personal choices. When people fight  as hard to create support networks to help women raise kids as they do for their right to be born, then I will give this argument some credence. But as long as people fight for babies rights to be born, and then don’t give a rat’s ass what happens for the next 18 years, I say back off the Uterus! Ever notice how the whole responsibility for the baby falls on the woman not the man? Chances he wanted that sex as much or more than the woman involved, but he gets to walk away scott free, off to talk some other girl out of using a condom. (or whatever) I don’t even want to get into all the coercive things guys do get women into bed, rape being only the most sick and obvious one.

Until you’ve lost a baby, Bill, I don’t think you can really know about the connection of a spirit to it’s potential life, and until you’ve struggled to make it as a single parent with no child support, or found yourself in the many other difficult positions women find themselves in, you really have no room to talk.

The bottom line is that when Abortion was illegal women got them anyway. Because they often went to hacks, both the women and the baby died. Maybe you think that’s justice? I think you’re sick!

So abortion is a “bail out” for “bad girls”? That is too rich! I want to control where government spending goes too! Let’s stop funding wars, big corporations, the oil industry, coal and nuclear power! And this isn’t about government spending, the bill makes sure no woman will get coverage–even for private plans.

Oh, and where the hell do you get off comparing yourself to a feminist activist? If it was up to you I’d be barefoot in the kitchen.

Go fuck yourself! (At least you won’t reproduce that way)

Oh, and you can just call me Big Mama.

Under the Bus


I only wish I had found it sooner. (Like it would have made a difference.)

Over My Bloody Uterus/Over My Sick-And-Dying-Body

Either the low & middle income women of this Nation are about to be screwed out of any access to safe abortions, or billions of low-income people will continue to die from lack of health care coverage. Having grown up steeped in the history of women bleeding to death from back alley abortions, and recently loosing someone who might have lived if he had access to preventative health care, my stomach is in knots.

What kind of Faustian bargain are the democrats making? Throwing 50 years of woman’s reproductive rights struggle down the drain?  Why does it always come to these false choices: women or everyone, women or blacks?

Is anyone else nauseated by the narrative of news shows explaining how the health care bill not only will not use federal funds to cover abortion–but will effectively prevent anyone else from covering it either? Not to scare us, but in an effort to placate so-called democrats who think the bill is still too lenient on abortion?


PS. Here’s my new chant for Tea Party Protestors:

Kill the Bill! We wanna die! Health is for the rich! Let poor people Die!

Thoughts on Weight and Health

I just learned that my Beloved died–not of hitting his head during a seizure, as I feared–but of a heart attack. At 35.

Now, it is a fact that at 6’4, and weighing at least 400 lb, some people would say that it was not a surprise he had a heart attack. Maybe even that he somehow deserved it.  It is true that he did not eat well, or exercise often enough. It is also true that he had a major health defect besides the seizures. His body was not processing fluids properly, so that much of his weight was actually water, which pooled up around his ankles, making them look like elephant legs. When I realized this, I looked up the disorder: my research showed that either his liver or kidneys were not functioning properly. This condition could lead to–yes–heart failure. I tried to get him to be proactive about seeking help, but he said the doctors told him it was just because he didn’t exercise enough. This didn’t sound right to me. Lots of people are fat without extra water in their bodies. I started to look up herbal cures, but then found out about his epilepsy. Afraid to suggest a treatment that might be contra-indicated–I backed off.

I wish now that I had pushed him to find a doctor or Naturopath who would look beyond his weight. Yes, I’m sure that it was a factor, but he had an untreated medical condition.

I guess we always want to fix the people we love. I used to fantasize about moving in with him and getting him to go on bike rides with me–and I don’t even go on bike rides myself! I would teach him the art of healthy food. I would soak his legs in mullein and lobelia, and give him tinctures for his organs. We would sweat at least thirty lbs off in extra curricular activity… I loved his body just as it was–just wanted it healthier.

I loved his size!  A strangely pleasing side affect of his disorder was that his kisses had a delicious moistness to them. I called him my tall drink of water, because I felt I would never need to drink again if I could only keep kissing him…(he thought this was silly, as the phrase is intended to refer to a skinny person.)

It’s scary. My life is not all that much more active than his. He was so busy playing music, drawing, chatting with me online, watching movies, spending time with friends…he wasn’t proactive about his health even as his body sent him clear signs that he needed to change. Many of his friends worried about him. I worried about him. He hated doctors–hated hospitals. He couldn’t get health insurance, so he had no regular doctor. He hated doctors. He hated being lectured about his weight.

People think that shaming someone will make the change. Like, if you just make them feel bad enough they will change. In truth it’s just the opposite. The more you try to make someone feel like they have to do something, and that they are wrong for not doing it, the less receptive they will be.

Now I feel like I have to make a change. My beloved has shown me that I need to get proactive: get up off the couch, go to the gym, work out at home, get my own long untreated physical issues taken care of, something!