I was recently asked me to write about the differences between Doms/Studs in the POC and Butches in the white lesbian community for Din Mag but I’m finding it surprisingly difficult. I should be in a good position to write such an article, seeing as I’m a white, stud-appreciating femme who moves between the two communities–but–I don’t know–it’s hard to feel like I can give a fair accounting accounting of both groups.
Because, you see, I’m biased. I like black women. I feel more at home with and drawn to lesbians of color than to “my own” (Even with the evil looks some black women give me when I’m the only white girl in the club)
I can’t stand being at many white dominated clubs: the plaid, the greasy hair, the sour smell, the rhythmless dancing and off-key Melissa Etheridge covers. Ugh!
Which doesn’t mean I don’t like white butches. I like dapper butches who smell good and wear dress shirts and ties. (Not all the time, but if you’re going out, why not dress up?)
What I don’t like/cannot get down with are “sporty dykes” (And no, playing sports is not what makes a lesbian “sporty” there are butches and studs who play sports but don’t read as sporty. Don’t ask me to explain it.)
They’re always drunk and in a pack at the club, with their jeans and t-shirts, greasy hair and ball caps–randomly wrestling, grinding off-tempo in lines, or spilling drinks all over the dance floor.
Ugh! There is nothing more depressing than looking out at a room full of lesbians and not being attracted to ANY OF THEM!
Nothing personal, they’re just no more attractive than most men to me. And they don’t seem to know what to do with me either, in my fancy femme club clothes–unless I’m dressed butch!
On a recent adventure out as a butch I was pulled into a line dance with six or so sloppy sporty dykes gyrating off-tempo.
I went with it bemusedly until I just couldn’t take the lack of rhythm any longer! I was kind of shocked. These kind of women never looked twice at me before, but just because I’m wearing a wife beater and suspenders I’m now one of them?
I don’t know. I feel like an asshole for writing this. For all sporty women dominate certain clubs (cough, Queereoke), they’re only a subset of the white lesbian scene. I know lots of white LBTQ’s who I quite like, and am even sometimes attracted to. And it’s nothing personal against them, just, ah, not my scene.
I want to write something for Din Mag that helps bridge the gaps between the races, not just bashes the white lesbian community!
And I will. I just had to get that off of my chest first.