That Kiss

CU of two women kissing--with hands

When I was in High School I was very involved with the gay community: the GSA was my social life, I was in the Governors Commission for gay & lesbian youth, etc…but over the years of living on the streets & then  raising children, I lost touch with the gay community.

At first it didn’t seem to matter much, since almost everyone on the streets seemed to be  Bi–but, I didn’t seem able to attract women, while men circled me like sharks smelling blood in the water.

For a long time it seemed like the only girls who liked me invariably had a guy with them who would fidget miserably as she publicly kissed me.

Although I never stopped being attracted to women, I became convinced that women were too scary, too unavailable, something to be “appreciated” but not pursued.

And then she kissed me.

We were talking at a party, and she smiled, leaning unexpectedly in mid conversation to connect our lips. I looked around, expecting to see a pathetically jealous man hovering nearby–but no! Only her blue eyes sparkled at me. For once, a single woman liked me!

We went on a date in Central Square on Valentines Day–holding hands on the street like it was nothing! Dinner and then back to her place…

Walking with her small but curvaceous body pressed into my side, every woman and girl that I had ever had feelings for came back to me, and my heart overflowed.


  1. aww so sweet! 🙂

  2. Love it!

  3. Just started reading your blog, yes I have gone through and read every entry in two days, and I have to say I love it. Everyone needs an outlet to be completely open.

    But touching on the first topic of this post, I have never been even a small part in the gay community around me. I just don’t seem to fit into it like they want me to. I’m actually kind of turned off because they seem to want everyone to fit into this same little box to prove that we are just like everyone else, and I like to stand out with my suspenders and dreadlocks. Oh well, maybe some day?

    But this post? Hella cute.

    • You read all 200+ posts? You are awesome! Thank you for such positive feedback!

      I think if I had kept going I would have made some friends eventually. When I did venture out to the clubs again it took 6 months but I finally made friends and such. Don’t give up!

      Wow…suspenders…and dreadlocks? I think I came a little bit just reading that! Don’t change!

      Anyways, thanks for reading & commenting! If you need someone to talk to (or want to send me pictures;-) you can email me at bigmama2x @ or follow me on twitter @JustaNothaWW

      Don’t be a stranger!

      • I am, in fact, very awesome. Hah! I embrace the fact that I am. But it wasn’t hard to go through and read, the posts were very interesting.

        Oh, don’t let them fool you. I’m soft butch at most. But I love my suspenders and dreadlocks. And I think I’m already following you on twitter, I originally found your blog through Twitter, actually. You reblogged something I said and started following me, which led me here. My twitter name is Plaidandpearls.

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