Why We March

Lesbian Pride Flag

The Closet Sucks!

I just want to scream every time I hear about how someone doesn’t care what I do, as long as I don’t “rub it in their face.”

So what exactly is rubbing it in your face? Mentioning my girlfriend? Commenting that I went to a lesbian club last night? Unless you’re reading my blog, I’m not going to regale you with intimate details of my love life!

When you’re in the closet, everything that you say about yourself becomes a lie, or at best a heavily-edited version of the truth.

Casual conversations become mine-fields of potential outing. Unless you flat out lie, simple questions must be met with a delicate dance of truth evasion.

In an effort to not make straights “feel uncomfortable,” when you are living in the closet you are always off-balance.

Always uncomfortable.

Living a lie.

That’s why I came out. I figure you can get over your momentary discomfort at my truth easier than I can get over a life of constant evasions.

But I also know that coming out is not without a price. Your discomfort at my casual reference to my girlfriend can lead me to the greater discomforts of social ostracization, violent hate crime and loss of income and the ability to provide for my family.

Fear of all these things is what keeps so many of us in the closet.

Why should your comfort come at the cost of my terror?

Why should I hide, hate myself, and try to change, just because you don’t understand and are afraid of my attractions?

I won’t. No longer. I am out! We are out!

That’s why coming out is brave. That’s why we’re out and proud!
That’s why we March!


  1. “When you’re in the closet, everything that you say about yourself becomes a lie, or at best a heavily-edited version of the truth.”

    Well said! Whether closeted for parental rights (let’s be real, there are still a lot of our fabulous community that will lose their children or at the very least visitation if they come out), the above is about as true as it gets.

    • Hi Foreva, its always nice when you swing through!

      That’s another reason people stay closeted. I’m blessed to have sole custody, live with a family that accepts my sexuality and work in an office where I felt fairly comfortable with coming out.

  2. You give good blog, JN. 😉 Shared this one on Facebook in honor of pride.

    • Yay! Thanks! I give good other things, too;-)

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