You’d think that having come out as Bi 16 years ago that I wouldn’t still be questioning my sexuality at 30. (Yes I came out at 14) But there it is.
I think that a combination of feeling rejected by the Lesbian community and ease of dating in the straight community pushed me into heterosexual relationships much more than I would have otherwise naturally been inclined. It was only by presenting myself as either a Lesbian, or as someone who formerly identified as Bi but was now only interested in women, that I was able to gain access to the woman-loving community that I craved.
I do think that I am far more orientated towards women, at least at this point in my life, but that doesn’t invalidate my feelings towards men or make me feel less ambiguous about how I identify. (Or feel less like a traitor for not championing the term Bi quite so much.)
Having said all that, there are communities that are very accepting of Bisexuals–my high school Gay-Straight Alliance was one of them. (It really was better in High School in some ways.)
If you’re really feeling adventurous you can check out http://polyboston.org. I find the local poly crowd to be very open-minded–if a bit on the nerdy side–and they throw nice family friendly parties.
Anyway, thanks for the intelligent and thoughtful comments and good luck on your journeys!