So one of the reasons I’ve been thinking so much about my gender role lately is that I’ve been kinda seeing someone. I say kinda, because it’s one of those messy-not-too-serious-no-promises kinda things.
She’s one of those hard core studs: an old school butch who insist on always serving and never being served. I still haven’t seen her without her boxers, and I doubt I ever will. Dresses, looks, acts like a man: sharp, matching baggy pants and shirts, with the nice watch and what are probably hot sneakers. (Sneakers are one part of black culture I’m still not hip to–I can not tell cool sneakers by looking at them–and really, if I’m interested in someone, am I really looking at their feet? Really?)
She’s even built like a man: no ass–even her tits are man tits! (Fortunately I always had a thing for man tits.) Still, I’m not sure what it is that attracts me to her–it’s not her face, not her eyes, not any particular curve or shape to her–it’s just, I don’t know, her energy. There is something about the way that she carries herself…and then, she is a really great dancer…
And the sex…it’s really made me completely rethink my definition of what sex is. I always thought sex was like, penetration, or at least oral–but this woman can make me cum, make my legs tremble and my whole body turn to jelly–and we’ve both still got our pants on! It’s like she has some kind of psychic dick or something.
Feloni says that Dick is “nothing but a psychological construct” and that kinda made me laugh when I heard it–but now I’m not so sure. The sex that I’ve been having lately has been so intense–it’s definitely up there with the best I’ve ever had–and yet, with the exception of when she goes down on me or maybe when she fingers me–most people wouldn’t even classify it as sex!
I don’t know how long we will really keep this up–she’s so confusing–caring and sensitive like a woman one minute, and then the worst kind of male chauvinist the next. Plus I miss some of things that I really like about being with a woman–like foreplay. Kissing every inch of a woman’s skin…going down…
Also, she keeps saying I’m too butch for her.
Oh yeah, and across age, race and gender, why does every single person I date have to be broke?