So if you are one of the two people who have been following my blogg you will know that I had a boyfriend I was quite serious about. He was a kind, thoughtful person, a creative genius, and absolutely the best lover that I ever had. He also lived out of state and grew pot. Our break-up was the most non-break-up break-up I’ve ever had: we stayed friends, chatting online at least a couple times a week, and even still slept together when logistically possible. If you read back through my Blogg you will see him referred to as my Beloved.
Then I met Jen (previously referred to as my ex-girlfriend). Jen was fine as hell: honey-bee eyes, skin like dark gold maple syrup. Also insecure, demanding, a little crazy. I was also the first woman she had been with. One day she sent me a text that read:
I miss you.
I miss u 2, I replied while cleaning the bathroom. I had a lot on my mind: I was up for a job in New Hampshire, and I was trying to decide if I wanted to ask her to move there with me. I knew that she wanted to live together. We both had kids and lord knows we could both use some support–but I was hesitant. Although our conversations clicked some of the time, (and the sex was very hot, if she was still a little hesitant to do some of the things I would have liked her to) but we were already arguing too much. Nothing ever got resolved. We had some serious communication issues.
I started thinking about how if I lived in New Hampshire, I would be a lot closer to my Beloved. (Who I had not been sleeping with during this time.)
As I wrestled with these thoughts in my head I got another text from Jen:
You’re a selfish Bitch.
So that was it. I broke up with her.
So why, nine months later, am I sleeping with her again?