The Conversation

My ex-girlfriend: “It was good bumping into you at the mall today.”

Me: “It was good seeing you too.”

Ex:”So, I just gotta know, what do you want from me?”

Me:”Huh? what do you mean?”

Ex:”Well, do you want to be my friend? My lover?”

Me:”I’d like to be your friend.”

Ex:”What does that mean? All of my friends have a use to me. I’m not used to gray areas.”

Me: “I don’t know, I don’t do cost-benefit analysis with friendships.”

Ex:”You know what I think–I think I’m just more into you then you’re into me.”

Me:”I’m just really taking a break right now. I’ve been really sad over my friend & ex’s death. I’ve been crying everyday-”

Ex:”I don’t want to hear about right now. Do you want to be my friend?”

Me:” Well, yes…”

Ex: “Then if you want to be my friend, why didn’t you return all my phone calls when we were going out?”

(okay, to be fair, for various reasons, I didn’t answer the phone 3-4 times when she called, but I usually texted or called her back. This is one of the stupid recurring arguments that broke us up.)

Me:”This is exactly the conversation I don’t want to have. Can’t we just talk without recriminations?”

Ex:”I don’t know what that means.”

Me: “Can’t you just chill out, be cool, relax?”

Ex:”I’m not a child. If you want me to fuck off, tell me to fuck off.”

Me:”But–”

Ex: “I’m not used to gray areas in my friendships. Just tell me to fuck off.”

Me:”Well..”

Ex: “TELL ME TO FUCK OFF!”

Me:”Okay…Fuck off–if that’s what you want.”

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